The silence at the table after I finished was thirty seconds long. I know because I counted. Jake stood up first. He said, "I am so, so, so sorry." He walked out of the room. Derek stood up second. He said, "I'll transfer you three thousand five hundred dollars tonight. I deserved this. I'm sorry, brother. I'll call you in a week. If you want." He walked out. Sam sat for a long time. He finally said, "Can I ask — did she know? When you told me?" I said, "Hannah? Yeah. She's known you told your wife since

the barbecue. We didn't say anything because we didn't know how to." Sam nodded. His face was wet. He said, "I'm going to go think. I owe you a longer conversation. I'm not going to push it." He stood up. He walked out. Ben and I were the only two people left at the table. The uneaten steaks had arrived while I had been reading, and neither of us had touched them. Ben said, "Holy Christ." I said, "Yeah." He said, "Are you okay?" I said, "I don't know yet. Ask me tomorrow." We ate our steaks. We drank two bottles of wine. I went home at 11:45 PM.