I called my father back the next morning. I said, "Dad. I thought about what you said. I hear you that you feel strongly. I also want you to hear me. If Tanya is part of walking me down the aisle, I am not being walked by my father. I am being walked by a couple. And I did not ask for that. I asked to be walked by you. I understand that makes Tanya feel excluded. I am sorry. I am willing to have Tanya be recognized during the ceremony in other meaningful ways. I will do anything except what you asked. Is there a world where you come to my wedding and walk me down the aisle alone, and Tanya is celebrated in a

different way?" My father paused. He said, "Honey. I talked it over with Tanya last night. We agreed we wanted to be a unit in this. If you can't honor that, I'm sorry, but I think we need to decline the invitation." I said, "You're declining the invitation?" He said, "We're declining the invitation." I said, "Dad. You're telling me you are not coming to my wedding if your wife doesn't walk me down the aisle." He said, "I'm telling you that Tanya is my wife and I won't treat her as less than she is." I took a long breath. I said — and this is the thing I have been glad for every day since — "Okay, Dad. Then you're both uninvited. I'll send back the rehearsal dinner checks."